Oh you thoughts you got me
As if I wouldn't have a boyfriend a month later
Whose intellect would slit your throat
Without cleaning the blade

Oh you hads me pegged
As if I didn't delete my own messages
From someone who had better eyes
To devour my nuances

Oh you felts sorry for me
As if I didn't stare up at the ceiling
Wishing you weren't so mind-numbing
Replaying anyone else

Oh you wanteds to settle down
As if you weren't a sufficient heart to break
Because the drama was a bloodletting
And I was on fire

Oh you didn'ts think I had a plan
As if I was some sort of normal
Who didn't painstakingly set up the dominoes
Then prepare the poison

 Oh you knews I was crazy
As if you were even capable
Of something less boring than mediocrity
Or producing a good elixir

Oh yous yielded little return
As if I thought your corpse could carry me
To loving myself enough
To never even bother with charades

My mistake
But thanks
For being the penultimate toy to play with
Before I grew up

You couldn't even make the worst cut
But I guess
It doesn't take much
To top you

I read once that you should make a list of what's important to you and then you should put the list away. It doesn't matter how profound or frivolous your needs are, just be true to yourself. A week later, you need to re-visit the list and ask yourself if you have in fact, been devoting your time to your priorities. Most people will see that they aren't living their lives in a way that they actually want to. It's no wonder we don't feel fulfilled. 

For example, this is what's important to me...

• Quality time with friends and family
• Working
• Writing
• Experimenting (be it with trying out new looks or experiencing new things)
• Helping people
• Learning
• Exercising (ugh those endorphins really do work)
• Taking care of myself (eating well, spa days)
• Laughing
• Relaxing with hobbies (reading, listening to music, binge-watching tv shows, photography, sewing)

...and here's how I've been spending my time

• Working
• Procrastinating
• Running errands
• Being indecisive
• Doing things last minute
• Binge-watching tv shows (still have yet to make a dent in stuff from 2011 tho lol)
• Not paying attention to others
• Going to events
• Glued to my phone (love my phone but it was getting to crazy time-sucking proportions!)
• Over-sleeping on weekends/public holidays

It's clear that after coming back from holiday, I've gone right back to living on auto-pilot and that's no way to feel balanced. From now on, I'm going to display my list somewhere I'll always see it. At the moment it's on a post-it note but I think I'll make it my default phone background when I get it back from repairs. Maybe a reminder of what I should spend less time with is also in order. So, what do you want to spend more or less time on?