I've been keeping to myself. I feel fragile lately, like I'm about to fall into a trap or am still recovering from climbing out of one. I'm more of a detective these days, observing from afar and making connections with clues. It's a mess on the inside. Sometimes we have to remind ourselves that it's ok not to be doing what everyone else is doing. I decline last-minute requests that used to excite me because they seem harsh and noisy now. It's ok to be a little quiet. I just didn't remember what it felt like at first. 

Finding myself on the sticky bathroom floor after fainting. All I could think was that I was going to die and I had no idea why the life was draining out of me. Three kind women helped me. We stood there while I drank a soda, this beautiful gathering of three different cultures and contrasting skin tones, and my heart felt warm again. People are kind and good but sometimes you only see it when you're really in trouble. I'll come out of hiding today knowing that I can crawl into bed on Sunday or sink beneath the water of a bubble bath soon enough, retreating into my own little world.